Praying for Easter

It's Easter Monday, and I'm praying for Easter. A friend said something to that effect the other day-that he's still praying for Easter-so I give him credit for that phrase. Or maybe he said "waiting for Easter", I can't remember. But I've been thinking about it since then. I've been praying for Easter for years, now. Three years ago at the beginning of Lent, a different friend said to me, "You are in your own long season of Lent, aren't you?" That was after one year of trying to get pregnant, shortly before the official diagnosis of "infertility", and in the middle of a difficult work situation. I thought it was the longest season of my life, and would surely be over soon. I thought both the difficult work situation and the infertility would eventually be resolved. Work was, infertility wasn't. Here I am, three years later, still in this long Lenten season that has certainly lasted more than 40 days. Good thing I didn't give anything up for this season!

Yesterday I preached about Easter, the resurrection of Christ. I talked about how we need to live the resurrection everyday. I try to do that-not just because I preached it, but because I believe it. I believe that the resurrection of Jesus Christ makes a difference in my life. I believe that even on my worst days, I can still have hope, because of Jesus Christ. Which means that even though Jim and I didn't get a baby miracle-and probably never will-and even though adoption is taking longer than we'd like, I still have hope. At least that's what I know I should believe.

But it's hard to hope anymore. It's hard to believe that this long season will ever end. Watching others get the results we've been praying for, it's tempting to stop praying. It's tempting to not hope, because hope deferred makes the heart sick. I think that's in Isaiah somewhere. I know I'm supposed to stay content, positive, and faithful. I have so much to be thankful for in my life, and I am so grateful, really. I know that in comparison to some people, my life is golden, and I'm receiving the prayer results that somebody else so desperately wants.

So, hard as it is, I still hope. Hope for what? I hope that this Lenten season is almost over. I hope that I can recognize Easter moments in everyday.. and I hope and pray that someday it will be our turn to announce our own personal good news.