Two Weddings and a Memorial

It's a strange week in pastoral ministry.

Sunday evening we officiated at a small wedding at church. We originally thought it would only be a few people besides the bride, groom, and the bride's two children. It turned out to be much bigger, but loads of fun. The wedding was unique... the groom wore a stark white suit, a Panama-style hat for part of the evening, and red leather shoes. There was no music available (this was supposed to be small..) but at the last moment, the best man's fiancee was asked-by the groom-to pinch hit and sing for the processional, and she did phenomenally well. I love small weddings. Afterwards we were invited to their small party down the street. The bride is from the Ivory Coast, and many of her guests are also. Sitting with them, listening to them speak--both English and French--hearing about life in Africa, and life as an immigrant here in the States..it felt like a homecoming for me. Strange, but true. Strange because I was born in the Congo (Zaire). But I felt at home with those from the Ivory Coast, another African country. I hope to see the bride's friends again sometime. I also enjoyed the opportunity to hang out with another lady from our church.

Last Saturday, Joe died. Joe has been a member of our church for ages, and was quite sick in recent years. Jim visited him numerous times in the past year. I have visited him once or twice. We went to see Joe last Saturday, after receiving a call from his caregivers that he was dying.. and we missed him by 5 minutes. I was so sad. Not that he would have known our presence-he was pretty much catatonic for the past week or so, I understand. But nobody should die alone. Apparently the caregivers were with him when he died, for which I am grateful. Tomorrow we remember Joe in our church memorial service, and I am sure we will laugh much at many stories.. there are many funny stories with Joe. There will also be sadness- at the fact that he suffered so much while on earth here. And yet, because of that, there is also much joy-that Joe is no longer suffering the horrible physical pain he suffered for so long.

On Saturday we will be two of three ministerial participants in another wedding. We're looking forward to this wedding of friends and parishioners. We're honored to be part of the ceremony, and can't wait to have the bride and groom back in town to hang out with again. I have spent several hours this week trying to figure out what to wear--what does a female minister wear to an outdoor wedding where it might be quite hot.... I want to wear something fun but professional, funky but not flashy, colorful but not clashing with the bridal party's colors...I'll probably settle for good old black. Regardless of what I end up wearing to this wedding, I'm looking forward to the celebration of this couple's love for each other and for Christ.

This week has also brought daily trips to Hospice to visit another parishioner dying of cancer. Every day I tear up a little, saddened by the imminent death. This lady is -was-so full of life, even in her sicker days.... that it is painful to see her like this. I keep hoping for a miracle.. for her to sit straight up, open her eyes, and say, "I'm healed!" A few times her husband and Jim and I have talked about the Chicago Cubs, (as bad as they're doing), trying to get a reaction out of her, because she can't stand the Cubs! But so far, no miracle. She will be missed by many, and I have been touched by the amount of people who have stopped by to visit. As one woman said to me, about the dying woman, "She worked her way into everyone's hearts." She sure did...especially this heart.

And so this week is a strange week in pastoral ministry. Bookended with weddings... one to begin the week, one to end the week.. a memorial service tomorrow.. daily visits to a dying woman. Life, and death.. celebration.. and grief.