Pollo Campero, Ruins, Cafe Latte...

I`m in Guatemala!!! Antigua, Guatemala, to be exact. We arrived last night in Guatemala City, Guatemala`s capital, and met up with Jo Ann at the hotel Dos Lunas. I felt like a backpacker (except that I have a humongous suitcase plus my backpack)because of all the other weary travelers lodging at Dos Lunas. Our hotel hosts were fantastic.. friendly, put us at ease, funny, hospitable, helpful.. loved them. Jo Ann had ordered Pollo Campero, Jim`s favorite Guatemalan restaurant, and we ate cold but good chicken late last night.

Now we`re in Antigua at one of the coolest hotels I`ve ever stayed at--Lazos Fuertes. The room itself isn`t much to speak of, except for the darling swans made of our bath towels waiting for us on our beds... but the rest of the hotel is phenomenal, from gorgeous volcanic views, to rooftop chairs, (free internet), to courtyards with all sorts of plants, awesome wood furniture in the lounges... and.... perhaps best of all, much of the proceeds of this place goes to help kids in Guatemala City, whose families work in garbage dumps. That makes us happy, and we did not even know about it before we got here.

Today after exploring our hotel, we walked throughout Antigua, eating a typical lunch of chicken and pork tamales, and meandering our way through the cobblestoned streets, snapping shots of colorful outfits, brightly painted Antigua walls, fun architecture, mountain and volcano views, and the ruins.

Ruins abound in Antigua, due to lots of violence over the years, and an earthquake or two. I read the history yesterday on the plane, but need to do more research to be exact about it. I was tired while reading Guatemalan history. The ruins are, well, ruins, and great photo ops, as well as fun places to hold a youth lock in, Jim decided! One in particular, Las Capuchinas, had all sorts of nooks and crannies, stairs, doors, etc.. and a beautiful yard where a Guatemalan father with three kids played hide and seek and other outside games. I was hoping to post pictures, but so far haven`t figured that out. Hopefully we will see at least one other ruin tomorrow.

After it started to rain we decided we needed coffee, so walked to the center square, where we had a good latte at El Cafe Condessa, highly recommended. I recommend the latte, not the pie.. Not so great. But hey, what I needed was a latte, so I`m happy.

Tonight we ate dinner at a Western place, but had good soup (tomato and tarragon), homeade bread, and salad... Jim had a healthy granola, yogurt, and fruit.

Tomorrow we take a shuttle to Tecpan, where Julio, from Santa Apolonia will pick us up, literally on the highway, where the shuttle is going to drop us off. It should not be too hard for Julio to find three gringos with their bags, waiting by the highway! Especially this one, with her insanely large bag.... full of things you might just need on such a trip as this.

So, day one in Guatemala has been good. I`m so happy to be back, thrilled to go to Santa Apolonia tomorrow where we were last summer for our mission trip, and cannot wait for a good nights sleep tonight!

Humbled

This is the second time in a week that I've forgotten an appointment..both of which I was looking forward to. Last week at least it was both Jim and me who forgot. Today it was just me. I completely spaced out. Unbelievable. I guess it's a reminder that I'm doing a bit too much these days, and that I desperately need the vacation that's soon approaching. Of course it could be something totally different, like memory problems actually creeping in. But I'll settle for being overwhelmed. Today's humbling experience of forgetting-my-second-appointment-in-a-week also reminds me that grace abounds. Today's appointment was with a couple, and the guy said to me, "Everybody deserves a little grace sometimes." Thank you! Now I need to be so kind next time I get stood up by someone who's overwhelmed....or losing their memory.

a few of my favorite things...

my "Nightlight" bracelet ("Nightlight" is the ministry my sister runs in Bangkok, Thailand)...


my new hosta, called "June"...


a latte at Barriques Coffee Trader...

Forgiving....

I never thought I'd see this day. Several years ago a woman we knew hurt us and many people we know and love. It was an extremely painful and horrible situation with no resolution. (Though resolution and reconciliation was attempted many times.)

The other day I opened my church email, and there was an email from this lady, asking us to forgive her. I was stunned. I had forgiven her in the past-many times. Over and over, I'd told God that I forgave her... over and over, I asked God to help me remember that I forgave her. Over and over Jim and I prayed for her.. but to be perfectly honest, my heart still held some resentment. Everytime I thought about this lady, I wanted to scream, because I felt so betrayed.

So when I saw her email I didn't want to open it. I was afraid of two things: afraid she was just going to say something like, "Hey, how you doing?" and act like nothing ever happened.. and afraid she was going to ask for forgiveness. It was the latter. I started to cry, because though I feared it, I also wanted it. I felt relief. And I started to cry because my heart felt a heaviness that comes when you realize you actually have to do what you preach and recommend to others... you actually have to forgive. It's easy to talk about forgiveness when you don't think a person is ever going to seek it from you! It's a different story when they seek it.

But I did it. I forgave her, and I told her I forgave her, and it feels so much better. Is everything all honky-dory and resolved? No.. but I'm ok with that at this point. I am grateful to God for giving me this opportunity. I'm grateful to this woman for writing and seeking forgiveness. I'm grateful to all the people who have forgiven me many times over for all the mistakes I have made that may have contributed to their pain. And I'm grateful to God for forgiving me time and time again, everyday...

Surviving Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day gone by. This one was the hardest yet, of the past four Mother's Days. I guess it's because last year's Mother's Day held so much promise that this year I'd actually be celebrating as a mother and not only as a daughter. Last year at this time we were going through In Vitro, and things looked hopeful. And yet here we are, another year gone by, still childless. Though the holiday is now over, the pain of not being a mother is stronger this morning than it was Saturday morning, thanks to yesterday. I wonder if there are any greeting cards that say, "Sorry you're not a mother yet again... maybe next year. Here's to hoping. But don't get your hopes up too much, because you never know what could go wrong in the next 12 months." I wake up today still not a mother, and a holiday doesn't change that, one way or another. What has changed is that this year the diagnosis of "unexplained infertility" is more permanent. And yet, this year our paperwork is in China. So, I should hope. I should know that someday this will happen. And when I think outside my emotions I do hope. But I'm only cautiously hopeful. Yesterday someone said to me, "I'm saying 'Happy Mother's Day' to you in faith." So I have to keep the faith, hard as it is, that someday I won't dread the middle of May so much.

There are many who dread this holiday. Those like me, infertile for years.....my single friends who wish they were married and mothers.... those whose relationships with a mother are either non-existent or strained.... those who have lost children.... those who have lost mothers....

The truth is, I am fortunate to have my mother and other "mothers" in my life.. I am thankful to God for my own biological mother who has continued to love, care for, pray for and influence me. She and my father have taught me from childhood how to love God and God's people. I'm thankful for my grandmother, whose strong spirit and character keeps me laughing and impressed. I'm thankful for my mother-in-law, whose compassion and generosity are an example to those around her. And I'm thankful to the many mother figures in my life who have provided guidance, love, some correction, and lots of patience.

But I'm still wanting, and cautiously hoping for the day when I, too, can celebrate this day as an actual mother. Someday? we'll see.... check back next year.

La Jolla Seals

Last weekend I was in San Diego for a Board meeting. My friend Heidi came down and met me after my meeting. I hadn't seen Heidi in 7 years, so it was great to reconnect. Makes me realize again how lucky I am to have good friends. Heidi and I laughed, shopped, and drove (ok, Heidi drove, I rode) around San Diego and vicinity. We ate lunch at the Hotel del Coronado--which wasn't as expensive as it sounds. And we had an incredible view. After lunch, we went to La Jolla to see the seals. This one seal, pictured here, cracked us up. Every few minutes or so he'd take one of his fins and flip sand onto his back. No other seal was doing this, but the crowd enjoyed watching him. It was incredibly relaxing to watch these seals, to sit by the ocean, to smell ocean salt, and bask in the sun-even if the weather was still cool. I love San Diego!

Too much, even for me

Ok, I love snow, but this is ridiculous! It's May 11th. Tonight on our way home from the Overture Center (where we saw "Hubbard Street Dance Company"--excellent!), there was a mixture of snow/rain on the windshield. Crazy. Enough's enough. Enough snow until November, thank you very much!